


Thanatophobia

by Isiga_Inkblood



Category: Hiveswap, Homestuck
Genre: 2nd Person, 2nd person POV, Angst, Drabble, Hurt and comfort, Injury, M/M, Partially Blind Character, Recovery, Resistance AU, and one highblood rebel, but eh, even though we dont know jack about whats going on it hiveswap, i figured id post it anyway, i just kinda wanted to drabble it, im gonna call it an au, in true isiga style, its mostly galora though, just saying, like a few hours fast, or at least before i knew them, pre friendsim stuff, rebel teals, so before we knew them all that well, so probably ooc, some violence its not graphic though, teal fam, this is kinda self indulgent and not written very wel, this is the backstory behind the eye in my galora nsfw, this was super fast
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-26
Updated: 2018-05-26
Packaged: 2019-05-13 20:59:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14756219
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Isiga_Inkblood/pseuds/Isiga_Inkblood
Summary: Thanatophobiathan·a·to·pho·biaThe sever fear of losing someone you hold dearBe GalehkStelsa could really only say that his condition was potentially critical.





	Thanatophobia

**Author's Note:**

> Hey all! So I had some folks who really liked the little detail I added about Tagora's eye in my Galora NSFW titled There's a Kink for That. I felt obligated to drabble out the backstory on how he got this blind eye and so in a matter of a few hours i tossed this together. Please beware! There is a little bit of violence and paranoia described in this fic! If that bothers you please feel free to either turn back now or turn back at any time during the fic. If youre all ready to go pls enjoy ^^

Thanatophobia  
than·a·to·pho·bia  
The sever fear of losing someone you hold dear

Be Galehk 

"Where is he!?"

You're not angry, even if you sound like it, you're worried beyond belief. The call came in not but twenty minutes ago. The others let you know that he had been brought back but that his condition was poor. Potentially critical. Now you're tearing through the underground tunnels of the main rebel base you see over trying to get to him. 

Triona, Polypa, Tyzias, and Azdaja leap out of their skin when they hear your shout. They all look pale with worry at your approach. Triona is sniffling and furiously trying to wipe away tears while the three older trolls seem to do their best to keep it together. They're in front of one of the med bay doors, but when you go to throw it open Azdaja's got it firmly closed with strands of blue and teal. 

"Easy, tetrarch...they won't be done for a while I don't think."

You've never heard the gold blood so quiet before. He talks under his breath with a strain that simply screams he's worried too. Which only could mean one thing coming from him, and it may explain Polypa's presence too.

"Tegiri too? What happened to them?"

"Drone."

Tyzias grabs your arm and tugs you away from the door so that Azdaja can release it. The one word is all you need though. You knew something horrid would happen to someone...your worst fear was of it happening to Tagora or Tegiri. Now you face losing both. Potentially critical condition was what Stelsa had said. 

"Hey...they're gonna pull through. All of you need water and probably a snack. Gal, you need a report." 

You don't move when she tries to whisk you all away, but she doesn't seem perturbed. It's like she expected your stubborn refusal. You'll take care of you after you've seen to your matesprite and moirail. You stare forward with hard eyes. Attempting with all you're worth to be the strong leader they need of you. But a tiny squeeze to your hand startles you enough for your grumpy face to drop. Everyone's still standing nearby, but only Triona is in your space. She hugs your waist and sniffles. She must be incredibly worried. 

It breaks your pusher a little to see her so distressed. You spare a glance to Tyzias and she too looks like she's barely holding it together. Barely keeping calm for the much smaller teal. Tagora and Tegiri may be your quadrentmates, but they're family to these two. They're all one big pack and these two are just as scared to lose them as you are. You don't think twice when you scoop her up and fold her into your chest. 

"Tyzias, see to Polypa and Azdaja, they have been fighting as well and require rest. Please bring something to soothe Triona as well and then we can begin the status report of how the night proceeded."

She merely nods finally convincing the other two trolls occupying Tegiri's pale quadrent with you to go with her. You try to give them a look that says you'll take care of him. Hopefully your message makes it as they follow. Only Triona stays with you, folded into your chest and seeming to drift off into a light sleep as you pace about nervously. It's only been roughly half an hour so really there's no way Stelsa's done with them yet. She and the few jade healers you have can only work so fast. Your pan can't help but jump to horrid places though. Thoughts of sever head trauma or gashes in the chest. Laser burns and severed limbs. 

All you can see in your pan's eye is teal, Tagora's bright bright color and Tegiri's darker shade, splattered everywhere. Images of their dead bodies covered in white sheets stained from Stelsa's attempts to save them are seared into your eyes. A tiny hand on your cheek slows it down though, a wave of affection comes from it.

"Your pusher started going really fast."

She gives a little yawn but her eyes are still lined in deep teal from her sobs. You try to calm if only for her with deep breathes and light hums. She seems to settle again just as Tyzias reappears.

"Report."

Neither of you even bother to look at each other. You know each other's tones so well you can both continue to stare at the door and wait. 

"Tegiri and Tagora secured the target but at bodily cost to them both. Tegiri suffered a pretty deep skull fracture but his think pan appears to be fine. Stelsa says he has a sever concussion that hopefully won't escalate to a coma. But until he wakes up we won't know the potential for pan damage."

That's not good. None of this is good. You almost dread to bring him up.

"And Tagora."

She seems to grow even more distant at his name.

"Laser right through the left eye. Thankfully it came from a really weird angle so it missed his think pan completely. But it went through his eye and the bone. There's a good sized hole near his temple...Stelsa's says she can't save his sight in that eye even if she could replace it. Something about the nerves and receptors being severed. But worse than that is the hole. If it gets infected he'll probably die due to it's placement. There's no telling what could have gotten into it during the remainder of their scuffle and the travel here."

Both of you are silent for a good long while. You're practically trembling at the info feeling so anxious it's making you ill. This must be what your poor matesprite has to go through day in and day out talking to trolls in need of lawyer support. You couldn't imagine dealing with this all the time, you can barely handle it now. You make a mental note to remember it next time his confident facade comes crumbling down. For now though, you need to be a tetrarch, you need to make sure nobody else is injured. 

"Was anyone else harmed? And what of the drone."

"Everyone else is fine. Polypa and Azdaja suffered minor cuts and bruises, they just need some rest. The drone has been disassembled completely and brought to the concrete holding area. It's completely disabled, Azdaja has them organized but the guts of the thing are ripped out. Think he was pissed that something else got to bruise his part time hate mate."

You merely nod and it's like you're on the same wavelength cuz she just continues.

"The target is being transported via the underground system to the north sector. She's been given a new name already and Skylla has possible lussi picked out to take care of her. She has been given the Sufferer pendant so she may contact the resistance again should she need to. She suffered minimal injuries as Tagora took the final shot intended for her and skillfully evaded all others. We are touching base with the away team as they make it to each station."

"Very well, thank you Tyzias. It would seem that, despite the costs, the mission was a success. It would be a problem should the heiress obtain any more psionics. We must protect those we can. Have you sent word to the other tetrarchs?" 

"Tetrach Dammek is unresponsive, I have yet to receive confirmations from the other sectors. I think they're laying low after this hit and run less someone be listening." 

That would make sense. Your judgement must be clouded if you thought contacting them directly after a hit was a good idea. Last thing you need to do is give the resistance away. You've all worked incredibly hard for the microscopic progress you've made.

"So, are we done being book keeper and tetrarch now? Cuz...I'd like to sit, drink this liquid sugar, and maybe cry a little."

Now you look to her. Her eyes and lips are twitching hard, a tell tale sign that she's really holding back. All you can do is nod and push Triona's sleeping form closer. You both sit on the makeshift bench behind you and simply wait. The silence kills you but you'll never tell her she can show you weakness. She would probably punch you for it. Because of that you just wait in quiet and pet Triona's hair until she can hold back no longer. You offer her your shoulder and she takes it, hugging your arm and soaking your coat in tears. You can do nothing but rock them both and try to contain your own. Your crying won't help her. But the door opening what has to be hours later does. The both of you rocket up and into Stelsa's space the second she steps out. Amazingly, though, neither of you are able to say much of anything in the face of her.

"As I suspected, Tagora's eye is totaled...it went red before I could do much of anything. The wound in his temple is covered up in a really thick layer to fight off any potential contamination. We patched it as best we could with a skin graph, but since it is a burn it is rather hard to patch. His body will have to do the rest. But there will most certainly be scars both from it and the other burns when the healing is done. Tegiri's head has been mended with a lot of staples and medical glue. We'll have to pull them out later when his skull mends. He's still out cold but, thankfully, he doesn't seem to have slipped into a coma."

Finally you find your tongue as Tyzias gives a heavy sigh of relief.

"They will make it though?"

Stelsa gives you a nod and a teary half smile. That does it for you, finally the dams that held your tears back break. Your glasses are fogging fast but the second someone relieves you of Triona you're in the med bay. They're both laying there, bandaged and bruised but you can see the rise and fall of their chests. They're damaged but very alive. You collapse into the chair between their platforms and simply sob a moment. You pet Tegiri's head careful of the staples that go halfway down his forehead and kiss Tagora's bandages. They're stained teal but you don't care, they're both alive that's all you care about. 

Your hand finds Tagora's and squeezes it tightly. Of course he doesn't respond but he does purr a little in his sleep and that's enough for you. It doesn't stop the tears though. Their persistence seems a little ridiculous but you can't find it in you to care. You just kiss your matesprite's limp hand and keep it close. You just continue to pet your moirail's hair and listen to him breath. You just exist in the space between them and sniffle.

"Gonna have to charge five bucks per tear if you keep this up."

That only makes them come faster but you don't care, you'd pay with your damn soul if it meant he would be ok. He looks exhausted; you feel mildly bad for waking him with your crying. All you can do is sniffle more and pull him into you before he can potentially protest. He doesn't seem to keen on protesting though. His arms tuck up against you and grab onto your coat til his knuckles go white. You steal a glance at Tegiri's still sleeping form before you wrangle Tagora enough to get on to the platform with him and tug him into your lap. He groans a bit, he's probably bruised, but he doesn't seem to care a whole lot about your manhandling. 

"Why does everything look so fucking funky? Did that drone fuck up my hair or something?"

He's reaching for his face before you can stop it. When the digits find the bandages they stop dead his one visible eye looking shocked. 

"I...do not think it managed to screw with your hair darling...but your eye."

"Ha! Better that than my hair, geez do you know what it takes to make it look this good? A lot."

There's that fake confidence. You can see right through it but you don't mention it for now. All you do is run a hand through his silky hair to let him know that you do indeed appreciate it. He really does work hard on it even if you don't mind its normal curly ruffled up state. The state that only you get to see right when the moons are rising and you can't seem to sleep. You'll just gaze at him on the other side of the platform with his hair a mess and his usual smirk hidden. Cloaked in the moonlight he looks just as perfect when he's a big mess to you.

"Gog let me up, my legs are all cramped up and shit."

"Tagora, I do not believe that is a good idea." 

He's not having any of it though, weaseling his way out of your grasp like he's got no bones...and falling on his ass onto the tile. You jerk out of the sheets to grab him and check him over for damage while he just curses under his breath. 

"Your depth perception is going to be faulty. You should stay on the platform for now."

You hope it sounds stern enough for him to give up whatever quest he's set himself on, but of course its not. He uses your arms to heave himself up so he can stumble over to Tegiri's platform and stub his toe on it. More cursing fills the block and finally you just take pity on him. You sit yourself in the chair again and tug him into your lap.

"If you would like to roam a bit I will assist you, but I wish to wait for Tegiri to wake."

He's just staring at the other teal, worry etching its way into his face as his eye skims over the staples.

"Yeah...we should wait up for him. Hey weeb, wake up would ya."

You give a tiny huff of laughter at that but continue to just hug him close. His smell reminds you that he's here and he's ok...well mostly ok. His hand keeps drifting to the bandages, tracing their folds with a look on his face that confirms he cares a bit more than he's letting on.

"Hey Gal?"

"Yes, Gor-Gor?"

You catch the tiny uptilt of lips the nickname gets from him just before it falls away and he's talking again.

"Is she ok? Did...did we do it? Was it worth it?"

You knew he would ask, but you didn't expect the broken undertone of it. You didn't expect him to question its worth. Your arms squeeze him tighter, mouth brushing over one of his horns in a small kiss that makes him trill before you even can speak.

"She is on her way to Skylla's ranch, she suffered no major injuries just a couple bumps and bruises. You two completed your mission just fine."

You wish you could say more to ease him. But with the way his hand won't leave his face and the way his good eye is trained on Tegiri you don't think much will help. Not until the other teal wakes up and you can wander around with him a little. He's probably going stir crazy just sitting in the med bay.

"Dumb weeb...you better be ok."

"Gor Gor!"

You release him and help him to slide off of your lap to the ground safely so he can open his arms to the little teal. She barrels into him so hard he winds up on his butt again, he doesn't mind though he just wraps her up and lets her sob into his chest. Your entire crew has been doing a lot of crying today. With good reason though.

"Hey now, whatcha cryin' for? We're alright, a little dusty but alright...Now now, shhh its all ok."

He rocks her a bit and runs his hand over her pigtails to soothe her while the older girls just watch with relieved faces. Stelsa hides her tear tracked face in Tyzia's shoulder even as the tired looking teal sips from her mystery drink with minimal tears falling down.

"Gez, what's everyone cryin' for. You guys act like we died."

You didn't know Stelsa could move that fast. She's up in his space in mere seconds grabbing his bangs despite his protests and sniffling into his face.

"You very well could have! Hell I lost both of you on the tables at least twice a piece. Pardon, if we aren't just the least bit ecstatic that you both made it back here let alone through the surgeries we had to do." 

Her fire dies out quickly when her eyes fall on the bandages again. She looks guilty but if its true she doesn't voice it in favor of looking to Tegiri's platform as he stirs. His eyes look so hazy you don't think he even knows where he is but he's awake and Stelsa is quickly in his face with a flashlight. 

"Hey you, what's your name?"

He just kinda stares at her for a moment before he seems to kick start.

"Tegiri...Kalbur."

She nods and you release a breath you didn't know you were holding.

"Have nice dreams about your jade blooded dream husbando, Teg."

"Fuck off, Gor."

"He's fine."

You have to resist the urge to laugh. Tegiri's response was incredibly sluggish but he did recognize Tagora so that's a good sign. Triona is still in Tagora's lap wiping her tears on the other's vest but she does get up soon. Its as if she can sense his need to move around. You nod to him when he rises up. He's a bit wobbly but a deal is a deal, you know he would say so if you tried to get him to stay. So you don't, you hold onto his elbow on his blind side and try to help him stay steady.

"You sure that's a good idea, Gal?"

"Hey, he made a deal with me Tyzias, and my legs are cramping. I lost an eye not a leg."

Yeah he seems fine. You just give a shrug to your concerned friend.

"I can carry him with ease if need be."

"Yeah right!"

You kiss his head to get his sass to stop. She just fights back a snicker at his retort and lets you go. The two of you make it out of med bay and down the hall in silence. He stumbles here and there and nearly runs into walls he swears were further away a minute ago but overall the venture seems to be going ok. Its just so damn quiet. You're not sure if its because he's concentrating on his balance and depth perception of if he's uncomfortable with something. 

"Hey Gal..."

You nearly jump when you hear him. His head turns as much as it can so he can actually see you just as you quirk an eyebrow at him.

"This is dumb and I know it so don't say a damn word...but can you maybe grab this arm? Its disorienting having you on this side. You can just...just like...I dunno, tug me when I'm about to run into something."

You didn't even think about it and now you feel a bit insensitive. You drop his arm like its on freaking fire and move to his other side.

"Is this better? I do not wish for you to be uncomfortable in this venture. Its highly important to myself as well as the resistance that we can rehabilitate you to be productive and comfortable despite your new found disabili-"

"Gal! Sweet Sufferer stuff it...This is fine."

You do stuff it...for now at least so you two can keep moving along. You make a full round of the underground area and then make it up to the safe space above you. Its a run down looking hive from many sweeps ago. Vines and leaves cover its walls in patches while a huge tree grows in the middle of it. Its more than in the process of being reclaimed by nature which has made it a perfect hiding spot. Tagora likes to look up into the leaves on occasion with you, when drones aren't on your asses and capable of finding you.

"Things look oddly blue. Like they're covered in a blue sheen."

You're not sure if he's talking to you or just babbling to himself about his new issues. Your phone going off startles you but it barely makes him flinch. The messages from Stelsa seem unhurried though so you calm down quickly.

'Hey, if Tagora wants to get out of here he's free to. Just be sure to keep an eye on his bandages.  
They need to be changed at least every night but honestly I'd go for twice a night once when you guys wake up and once before you guys bed down for the night.  
Oh, Azdaja and Polypa say they've got Tegiri too. They were worried you were going to stretch yourself too thin trying to tend to both of them.  
Let Tagora know we care would you...thanks, Gal.'

You take that as your way out. Frankly its been a long night, you're more than happy to drag him back to your hive for a while.

\----Weeks in the future but not many----

Tegiri's head healed fine as did Tagora's eye area. Both of them have gnarly scars but they seem to be ok with the process of hiding them from their night jobs. Sporting a new style they both are eager to claim. 

"How's it look? Its probably silly huh?"

The floppy looking hat suits your moirail really. His bangs and the brim work together to hide the scar the staples left behind and really it looks very Tegiri to you.

"No, not at all, it looks fine. It suits you. Are your migraines subsiding any?"

He just sort of shrugs with a dazed look on his face. You have to snap into your microphone to bring him back to you. He jumps out of his skin but he redirects the conversation away from himself.

"How's Tagora fairing? That scar's probably getting to him."

Really you just can't say. Its hard to tell how he feels about the things that happened. All you really know is he seems to be having a rough time getting himself to look the way he wants to. Tegiri gives a concerned look as you explain how your day to day everything goes. How he seems ok when you both talk but when you sneak glances at him throughout the day he looks a little lost. 

"Maybe he just needs a little help? I dunno how or who but maybe he does."

Its a real thought that's for sure, but your convo gets cut short by a call to the courtroom for him. You exchange good byes and he rushes off still looking a little dazed. Maybe he does just need a little help...what could you do? You peek into your respite block where he's napping in a pile of anime pillows and plushies. He should be fine long enough for you to run down the street. 

You have no idea what you're looking for once you're in there. The walls are covered in dyes and brushes and hair dries, all things he already has and doesn't care too much about. Oh but then you see them. They're tiny and cute as all hell but there's a ton of them and they're all a deep indigo. Its just a little box of clips but you wonder if they'll help him feel like his old self a little. You don't think on it too hard less you question it as you grab them up and leave the store with them in hand. 

The hive is still pretty quiet when you get back but you can pick up the faint sound of music from upstairs. You follow it and crack open the door to your respite block ablution chamber. He doesn't seem to notice you at first but when he does he's all grins and a pair of scissors in his hand. Your jaw just about drops. Half his hair is gone, it rests on your ablution chamber floor. The bangs he spent a really long time growing out so he could tuck them away are cut in such a way that a long vail of blue black covers his bad eye and a shorter bit curls around his face on the other side. It reaches a bit passed his shoulders curling up adorably at the ends. Its perfect on him. 

He laughs and places the scissors down with an 'of course it is' on his tongue. You must have said that out loud. Cautiously you set the box of clips down on the counter and continue to just take him in. He eyes them with a quirked brow.

"Tegiri said perhaps a little something would help you feel normal again. Since the incident seems to have left the both of you a little uncomfortable in your own skins."

"Let Teg speak for himself, I feel fucking fab."

Its a lie. You can hear it. He's been incredibly uncomfortable but he's not gonna let you know. He's not gonna let anyone know. Instead of pushing for the truth you just run your hand through his much shorter hair.

"I think a high pony tail would really complete it."

He looks surprised but doesn't protest when you open the little box you got and the brush from the counter. It passes through like his locks are threads of silk but you seem to be having a hard time getting it centered...and he defiantly lets you know.

"Don't put it so far to the side. Sweet Sufferer never grow your hair out, let me do it."

He manhandles it to the center of his head but does let you tie it off with the little blue tie. You turn him around against the counter and secure a couple clips into the short side. They pull his hair away just enough to help him see and they look cute.

"Did you grab these just cuz they're blue? Geez you're one possessive ass aren't you."

He snickers and you just roll your eyes. You kiss him anyway and it shuts him up. You tell him it looks great, that you love it, that you're flushed and pitch and everything in between for him. But you keep to yourself how happy you are that you didn't lose him.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey! Thank you all for reading this fic, if you liked it leave me a heart from the kudos to let me know, and if you LOVED it let me know in the comments below! I read and adore all comments and kudos from all of you. If you like the way I write and wanna see more be sure to check out my profile, if you want notifications of when new fics go up and are being worked on follow me at isiga-inkblood on tumblr.
> 
> Thank you again for all your love and support and always remember toooooo,  
> Stay Golden my Friends!


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